THE BALLAD OF BIG MIKE
Another Nuclear Fable
And Pre-Christmas X-Mas Card
Everyday down at x-ray you could see him arrive
Cuz when it came to ugly he had it in overdrive.
Kinda broad in the belly & kinda narrow in the mind
With a face and a smile resembling a horse's behind.
Big Mike
Everybody knew where Big Mike called his home
Cause he stayed there all day and na'r did roam.
He said that his ole lady wouldn't let him out
And none of us had reason to doubt
Big Mike
Then came that night in the old x-ray shop
When the roof got so weak and started to drop.
The chief tech called out, "Well, son-of-a-gun!"
And everybody heard and they started to run....
Except
Big Mike
In a matter of seconds everybody was gone
Except for Big Mike who had lit for the john.
As they continued to yell, "Get out ya big crud!"
Then the roof came a tumbling with a sickening thud....
On
Big Mike
And everyone stood feeling sad and so blue,
And everybody cried cause everyone knew
Somewhere in that pile Big Mike was laid flat
Cause he just couldn't leave without his silly golf hat.
Big Mike
Well, they never reopened that worthless ole shop
They just closed it off and placed a plank on the top.
And these simple words were written on that stick....
Somewhere in this pile lies one helluva prick.
Big Mike